Content
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- Identify the problem.
The problem will typically be in the form: "I want to do this, but something stops me..." or "I don't want to do this, but I seem to keep doing it just the same..."
- Establish communication with the part that is responsible for the behavior.
Go inside your mind and ask that part to communicate with you using a signal that you will be aware of consciously. When you get a signal, it could be anything, thank the part and ask it if this can be its signal for "yes". Keep asking until you get a reliable signal that you can calibrate consciously. If you cannot get a signal, continue anyway.
- Establish the positive intention of the part and separate it from the unwanted behavior.
Ask the part if it's willing to reveal its positive intention. If you get a "yes" signal, then let that positive intention become clear to you. It may come as a surprise. What is the part trying to accomplish that is of value? If you get a negative positive intention, chunk it up until you get it expressed positively. Separate the positive intention from the behavior. Thank the part for letting you know its positive intention. If you do not get a signal, assume one and continue to the next step.
- Ask your creative part to generate new ways of fulfilling that positive intention.
Go inside yourself and ask your creative part to come up with at least three choices that will fulfill the positive intention in a different way. Ask for them to be at least as good if not better than the original behavior.
Ask the creative part to let you know when it has done this and thank it. The creative part may not let you know these choices consciously and you do not need to know them for the process to work.
- Get agreement from the original part that it will use one or more of these choices rather than the original behavior.
This is a form of future pacing. Ask it directly if it is willing to use the new choices. You should get a "yes" signal from the original part. If not, you can either go back to step four and generate more choices or presume that the part is willing to accept the new choices.
- Ecology check.
If you are aware of these new choices, imagine doing them in the future. See yourself doing them as if on a movie screen. Does it feel right?
Whether you know the choices or not, ask yourself, "Does any other part of me object to these new choices?" Be sensitive to any new signals that could indicate that these choices are not ecological. If you do get a signal, go back to step four and ask the creative part, in consultation with the objecting part, to come up with some new choices that satisfy the objecting part and still honor the original positive intention. Check these new choices for any objections.
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