Testosterone Bread

From [1]

Ingredients

• 2 cups of almond flour
• 1 tablespoon of baking powder
• 4 whole omega-3 eggs
• 5 tablespoons of virgin organic coconut oil (heat to liquefy if needed)
• 1/2 cup hot water
• Non-stick baking spray

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. The oven is that boxy thing somewhere near your fridge. No, not the microwave. The bigger boxy thing. With knobs 'n shit.
2. Whisk the wet ingredients together. Mix the dry ingredients together. Now mix both together. The result is swamp sludge. But it'll look better soon.
3. Pour into a sprayed-up 4 x 8 loaf pan or disposable foil pan.
4. Bake for 40 minutes or so.
5. Eat in one sitting. Go to sleep. Poo like the god Thor the next morning. Take a photo of it. Put it on your Facebook wall. Bask in the glory that is you.

Options

• This recipe makes a savory loaf. For a dessert-like bread, add 3 or 4 tablespoons of Splenda, a shot of vanilla extract, dried fruits, and chopped nuts.
• Various dried spices like cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, ginger and allspice add tons of flavor and no unnecessary calories if you're cutting and keeping meals volumized.
• You can also go with 1 cup of almond flour and 1 cup of milled flax seed. But don't eat that in one sitting or you'll blow your bunghole to China the next day.
• Almond flour expert Elana Amsterdam, author of The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook, says not to use Bob's Red Mill brand of almond flour or your recipes may turn out runny. She also says to use only the blanched stuff, but I've had great results with my uncircumcised almonds. So there, Elana.